Today has been on my mind since September. When I found out I was pregnant with you, one of the first things I did was look to see when we would get to meet you. I got on the computer and typed in all the appropriate information. June 7th popped up as your expected birthday. That day came to represent the time when we would get to see your beautiful face, hold you, snuggle you... start our new life with you. I loved you from the moment I knew you existed. The sight of your little heart beating was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and will ever see. Your size didn't matter, my love for you overwhelmed me. It still does. I thanked God over and over that he blessed us with you and I still do, even through the hurt. Finding out that we lost you broke my heart because we so desperately wanted you here with us. I still wonder why you didn't get to stay. It's hard not to think of what today could have been like and how different it turned out to be. Instead of meeting you we spent the day doing something just for you. We planted you a tree. It's going to be beautiful when it blooms and I like knowing that when I see this beautiful tree, I will think of you. Just like when I see my ring with your birthstone in it. Just like when I'm sitting quietly and you pop into my mind. Even when life distracts me, you are always in my heart. A heart that loves you just as much today as it did yesterday. I miss you, but I know you are safe and happy and someday I will get to meet you.
Love,
Mommy
3 comments:
That is really beautiful Kayla. The letter and the tree. Sending you a giant hug!
HUGS!!!! Beautiful letter and tree.
Kayla, what a beautiful thing to do. *Huge tender hugs*
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