Tabula Rasa!

I've been feeling guilty about my last post. Scowling at pregnant women? It is not my proudest moment and I'm not sure it was really a scowl... more of an annoyed eye roll that had nothing to do with the perfectly pleasant women. I was just having a "why me, why now" moment. I know I probably have too many of those and so that is something I'm working on. I really am happy for all these women who are fortunate enough to be pregnant, it's just that my own hurt sometimes clouds reality. For that reason I am making a bit of a resolution.

It is January, the start of a new year. Today was also the start of a new cycle which means our first cycle trying again was unsuccessful. I'm okay because I was already sure I was not pregnant. So it is a fresh start. New year, new cycle, new attitude. I've even started a new book that I think may help. Some of the real motivation came from a compliment I received recently. A compliment that I didn't really deserve. A friend said that I have shown grace despite the complications and our loss. Well, I would hate to make a liar out of anyone, so grace is my goal. There are bound to be a few relapses, but admitting the problem is the first step to recovery, right?