I'm probably 7 or 8 and I'm in the kitchen with my mom. My birthday is in a week or so and I can hardly stand the wait. I remember saying to my mom "But I wish my birthday was today! I want it to be my birthday now!". I'm sure she has some kind, motherly words of wisdom about how I would just have to wait and it would be here soon enough. It may have been true but that didn't necessarily make the wait any easier.
That's how I feel some days. It just hits me. I want to be pregnant now! I don't want to wait anymore. Yes, we've only been trying for two years and in the scheme of things that isn't all that long (although sometimes it feels like a lifetime). But in reality, I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. When we got married I knew we would wait a couple of years and I was very patient at first. Then after three or so years I started asking Jason, "So when do you think we could start trying? How about now?". When we started trying in April of 2007 I was so happy that my dream of being a mother would be a reality before too much longer. I felt like I had done all the waiting already. But I sit here now... still waiting.
I believe it will happen.
I do. I just want it to be now. God's answer is to wait and I am doing my absolute hardest to accept that answer with some grace.
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
~Stanislaw J. Lec
~Stanislaw J. Lec
1 comment:
It's gonna happen. You know the saying "things happen when you least expect them to." Well maybe that's true, because it seems like all the people I know with babies got pregnant accidentally. I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but maybe you should go out and get sloshed. Yeah, probably not, that was.... "bad advice, bad advice, bad advice is the same as good advice." thats from a jingle they play on the indie 103.1 radio station from the barely legal radio show. you should check it out, good music and funny shows. but seriously now, its gonna happen. and i dont think you are impatient. 2 years is a long time. it really is. it must be hard to remain hopeful and patient after having waited this long. but im sure it will happen any month now.
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