"I am in ...Vancouver. I was stuck in a meeting that I couldn't get out of ...and the electricity went out in the building ...and we were trapped ...on the 38th floor. And the telephone system blew too. Amazingly enough."
(Excuse may have been borrowed from one of my favorite movies.)
So I'm still here. Today I am 14 weeks pregnant and still taking it pretty easy. I've had a total of three bleeding episodes now and that has definitely made this more stressful than I had imagined it would be. The good news is that each time we have gone into the doctor our baby's heart is beating nice and strong. It seems I'm in a constant mode of prayer these days. Last Saturday was the last time it's happened and I really (really, really) hope it is the last. I do have a new sonogram photo I need to post but since the scanner is not attached to our laptop I will do that another time. Basically I just wanted to say that I'm still here, spending too much time on our couch and trying to take good care of our Guppy. I can't wait to start feeling this little guy or gal moving around in there. Yesterday I heard two pretty good movements on the doppler so I know there is lots of partying going on that I'm still not able to feel.
Thanks to all of you who continue to pray for us.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Duet
Today I am 11 weeks pregnant. According to the nurse I am one week and one day away from the second trimester. Would a party be superfluous?
Since my last post we went through a bit of a scare. Well, a pretty big scare but things have gotten better. I'll just say that implantation bleeding can happen and it is highly underestimated. Everywhere you read about it you see the word "spotting". That term did not apply to what I went through but the doctor says he has seen it before and advised that I stick to a leisurely pace. So that's what I've been doing since last Wednesday.
I had a follow up appointment today and for once we didn't do a sonogram. The nurse used the fetal doppler to listen to the baby's heartbeat and it was the coolest thing. At first, all you could hear was my own heartbeat and then she found the baby's. I could hear both of them at the same time. This isn't the first time I've heard the baby's, but it was the first time I heard them together. For some reason it just made me feel really connected to our Guppy. Like we are a pair that is in this together. Mother and child. Pretty awesome.
Since my last post we went through a bit of a scare. Well, a pretty big scare but things have gotten better. I'll just say that implantation bleeding can happen and it is highly underestimated. Everywhere you read about it you see the word "spotting". That term did not apply to what I went through but the doctor says he has seen it before and advised that I stick to a leisurely pace. So that's what I've been doing since last Wednesday.
I had a follow up appointment today and for once we didn't do a sonogram. The nurse used the fetal doppler to listen to the baby's heartbeat and it was the coolest thing. At first, all you could hear was my own heartbeat and then she found the baby's. I could hear both of them at the same time. This isn't the first time I've heard the baby's, but it was the first time I heard them together. For some reason it just made me feel really connected to our Guppy. Like we are a pair that is in this together. Mother and child. Pretty awesome.
"Sometimes", said Pooh, " the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
~Winnie the Pooh
~Winnie the Pooh
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Hello Guppy, Bye Bye Bagel
Just a quick update.
I'm still making somewhat frequent trips to the doctor because of the continued spotting. Evidently I'm one of the "lucky" ones who has implantation bleeding from the placenta attaching to the uterine wall. *sigh* It's just scary since any book you read will basically say that spotting is reason to run to the emergency room as soon as possible. Stupid pregnancy books. I've pretty much sworn them off the same as the internet. All of them besides the daily book that tells us what our baby is up to. I think my favorite part so far is reading about how our babe has all it's fingers and toes now. Cute, tiny little fingers and toes.
I called the nurse today to update her on the situation and she told me to go ahead and come in. The sonogram showed our Guppy measuring 10 weeks and 4 days (2 days ahead of schedule, but the measurements can vary quite a bit). Heartbeat was great and the little guy or gal was jumping around and kicking it's little legs. It was absolutely the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
The 24/7 nausea and sickness is still hanging around. It's both a blessing and a curse. What sort of sick person can thank God after throwing up? A pregnant woman who just wants to know that her baby is okay. So loosing my bagel this morning was fine by me.
I'm still making somewhat frequent trips to the doctor because of the continued spotting. Evidently I'm one of the "lucky" ones who has implantation bleeding from the placenta attaching to the uterine wall. *sigh* It's just scary since any book you read will basically say that spotting is reason to run to the emergency room as soon as possible. Stupid pregnancy books. I've pretty much sworn them off the same as the internet. All of them besides the daily book that tells us what our baby is up to. I think my favorite part so far is reading about how our babe has all it's fingers and toes now. Cute, tiny little fingers and toes.
I called the nurse today to update her on the situation and she told me to go ahead and come in. The sonogram showed our Guppy measuring 10 weeks and 4 days (2 days ahead of schedule, but the measurements can vary quite a bit). Heartbeat was great and the little guy or gal was jumping around and kicking it's little legs. It was absolutely the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
The 24/7 nausea and sickness is still hanging around. It's both a blessing and a curse. What sort of sick person can thank God after throwing up? A pregnant woman who just wants to know that her baby is okay. So loosing my bagel this morning was fine by me.
Friday, September 25, 2009
What's Up Doc?
I've seen my doctor and his nurses more than my family lately. I had yet another sonogram today. Yesterday I had some spotting and some cramping so I talked to one of the nurses at my OB's office. She told me to come in today to get things checked out. Guppy is looking good as ever with a heart rate around 170. I even saw him/her move a little which evidently is a new talent that developed in the last day or so. I sort of felt like an idiot walking into their office after being there two days ago but they couldn't have been nicer. I'm seriously blessed to have such wonderful people taking care of me, I cannot say that enough. So for you viewing pleasure, my sonogram photo.
The black area is the gestational sac. On the left side there is a bumpy area and that is the placenta forming. You can sort of make out the umbilical cord coming from the baby toward the left side. It's normal for the head to be large in porportion to the body but with Jason's large melon I think our baby is destined to have a big head (brain, I mean). :D
The black area is the gestational sac. On the left side there is a bumpy area and that is the placenta forming. You can sort of make out the umbilical cord coming from the baby toward the left side. It's normal for the head to be large in porportion to the body but with Jason's large melon I think our baby is destined to have a big head (brain, I mean). :D
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Our Growing Guppy
I had my first official OB appointment today! It started out with lots of questions, an exam and then they took about a gallon of blood. I feel fortunate that it doesn't bother me to have my blood taken, I find it sort of fascinating actually. The speed at which the blood pumps into those vials... whatever, I'm weird. It may sound strange but I looked forward to all this because I'm all for being treated like a pregnant lady.
The torturous wait for the sonogram was well worth it. I go into the room and I know the routine. Get undressed from the waist down, get the paper gown, feet in the stirrups, it's second nature at this point. Then the Sonographer instructed me to get on the table. What? I get to keep my pants on for once? I realized that I left my modesty in April of 2008 when all this began. The number of times I've had a date with the "wand" cannot be recalled at this point (it would take my fingers, toes and then I'd have to borrow your fingers and toes...) but I'm happy to leave it in my past.
This time I not only got to see our baby's heartbeat, I got to hear it. The most amazingly beautiful sound that I look forward to hearing again.
5 weeks
6 weeks
7 weeks
8 weeks
The torturous wait for the sonogram was well worth it. I go into the room and I know the routine. Get undressed from the waist down, get the paper gown, feet in the stirrups, it's second nature at this point. Then the Sonographer instructed me to get on the table. What? I get to keep my pants on for once? I realized that I left my modesty in April of 2008 when all this began. The number of times I've had a date with the "wand" cannot be recalled at this point (it would take my fingers, toes and then I'd have to borrow your fingers and toes...) but I'm happy to leave it in my past.
This time I not only got to see our baby's heartbeat, I got to hear it. The most amazingly beautiful sound that I look forward to hearing again.
5 weeks
6 weeks
7 weeks
8 weeks
(Obviously it's not the norm to have this many sonograms. It's been an eventful couple of weeks but we are so incredibly grateful to be blessed with this baby!)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Wearing Mascara Again, That's a Good Sign
Where to start? My absence around here can be explained but I'm not sure if there is a short version to the story. All is well now but last Wednesday I feared what was to come. It all started the night before my sonogram on Thursday when a trip to the bathroom sent me into a bit of panic. Brown spotting isn't necessarily a reason to freak out but after my last experience it really didn't help put my mind at ease. Jason and I went into my sonogram Thursday morning a bit nervous and guarded (or at least I was). Then it all started to unravel. The sonogram showed a fetus but no heartbeat. The sac looked irregular and my doctor's exact words were "it doesn't look good". In the midst of my grief he was talking about coming back Monday for another sonogram b/c they always take a second look but to prepare for a d&c that afternoon. I was given instructions not to eat after midnight Sunday and we were sent home to spend the weekend mourning another loss. We broke the news to family and friends, and sheltered ourselves from the world for a few days. I kept thinking about how almost exactly one year before we were dealing with the same emotions. All the emotions that come with a loss, and especially after working so hard to get pregnant.
So Monday rolls around and as much as I didn't want to be going through it, there was a sort of acceptance of what was going to happen that day. Acceptance may be overstating, but we were going through it whether we liked it or not. We went in for the sonogram and then the shock of my life. A heartbeat. I look up at Jason, he had tears in his eyes and a smile that melts my heart. I, on the other hand, was in a complete state of shock. I didn't know how to absorb what was happening. This time the gestational sac looked perfect and round. How can this be? My mom is in the waiting room and we come out and tell her. In a mixture of confusion and tears (hers, not mine) she tried to understand what we were saying to her. We scheduled another sonogram scheduled for that Thursday. Fine by me, some extra piece of mind is definitely welcome. The shock doesn't wear off for days. Thursday rolls around and I hold my breath as the sonogram begins. Right away there is the evidence of a beautiful heart beating. Our Guppy has grown and things are looking good. I cannot express how wonderful that is to hear.
So, the explanation. It seems as though we started out with twins. Two embryos must have implanted but one didn't make it. Miscarrying one caused there to be fluid in my uterus and obscured the view of our healthy baby in the first sonogram. So all that time we had a heartbeat and a healthy gestational sac. It turns out that vanishing twin syndrome may be relatively common but most women don't have sonograms in the first few weeks and so it happens without anyone knowing. I've read up on it some and the prognosis for our little Guppy is good. How could it not be? He or she has two guardian angels.
Today was the first time I've thrown up since being pregnant. Lots of nausea off and on but so far I had escaped that rush to the bathroom. I've never felt so honored to have my head in a toilet.
So Monday rolls around and as much as I didn't want to be going through it, there was a sort of acceptance of what was going to happen that day. Acceptance may be overstating, but we were going through it whether we liked it or not. We went in for the sonogram and then the shock of my life. A heartbeat. I look up at Jason, he had tears in his eyes and a smile that melts my heart. I, on the other hand, was in a complete state of shock. I didn't know how to absorb what was happening. This time the gestational sac looked perfect and round. How can this be? My mom is in the waiting room and we come out and tell her. In a mixture of confusion and tears (hers, not mine) she tried to understand what we were saying to her. We scheduled another sonogram scheduled for that Thursday. Fine by me, some extra piece of mind is definitely welcome. The shock doesn't wear off for days. Thursday rolls around and I hold my breath as the sonogram begins. Right away there is the evidence of a beautiful heart beating. Our Guppy has grown and things are looking good. I cannot express how wonderful that is to hear.
So, the explanation. It seems as though we started out with twins. Two embryos must have implanted but one didn't make it. Miscarrying one caused there to be fluid in my uterus and obscured the view of our healthy baby in the first sonogram. So all that time we had a heartbeat and a healthy gestational sac. It turns out that vanishing twin syndrome may be relatively common but most women don't have sonograms in the first few weeks and so it happens without anyone knowing. I've read up on it some and the prognosis for our little Guppy is good. How could it not be? He or she has two guardian angels.
Today was the first time I've thrown up since being pregnant. Lots of nausea off and on but so far I had escaped that rush to the bathroom. I've never felt so honored to have my head in a toilet.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A Beta and a Guppy
I'm starting out with a verse today instead of a quote at the end.
Php 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your heats and minds in Christ Jesus.
This verse is going to get me through this first trimester. Well, as long as I commit to living it as best as I can. Some moments I feel like I'm succeeding and others I feel like I'm failing miserably. I guess the most important part is that each time I fall, I say a prayer while I'm on my knees, and get back up.
My first beta was taken at 14dpo and it was 227. My second beta was taken at 20dpo and it was 4,900! The hcg hormone should double every two to three days. Mine did that and then some! I went in for a sonogram yesterday and saw the gestational sac. My RE's nurse (the lovely Theresa who has been so great to me) said everything is looking great. Deep breathe in, and let it out... I've been taking lots of deep breaths lately.
I will also take the advice of a friend and stop googling things. I should have heeded this advice sooner b/c the internet can be an evil place for a worrier. It's a breeding ground for bad information, scary scenarios, and things that I don't even need to be putting in my head. So from now on, I'm staying away from any search engines. Putting it here will make it feel more like a contract that I'm obligated to abide by. So consider this an official contract.
In other news, our little babe has a nickname. I'd been thinking about it and it suddenly came to me. He or she is our little Guppy! One of the main reasons being that Jason used to have me in stitches with a "guppy face" he would make. After my sonogram I called Jason to let him know that we have one guppy in the tank.
Next sonogram is scheduled for next Thursday. Are we there yet?
Php 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your heats and minds in Christ Jesus.
This verse is going to get me through this first trimester. Well, as long as I commit to living it as best as I can. Some moments I feel like I'm succeeding and others I feel like I'm failing miserably. I guess the most important part is that each time I fall, I say a prayer while I'm on my knees, and get back up.
My first beta was taken at 14dpo and it was 227. My second beta was taken at 20dpo and it was 4,900! The hcg hormone should double every two to three days. Mine did that and then some! I went in for a sonogram yesterday and saw the gestational sac. My RE's nurse (the lovely Theresa who has been so great to me) said everything is looking great. Deep breathe in, and let it out... I've been taking lots of deep breaths lately.
I will also take the advice of a friend and stop googling things. I should have heeded this advice sooner b/c the internet can be an evil place for a worrier. It's a breeding ground for bad information, scary scenarios, and things that I don't even need to be putting in my head. So from now on, I'm staying away from any search engines. Putting it here will make it feel more like a contract that I'm obligated to abide by. So consider this an official contract.
In other news, our little babe has a nickname. I'd been thinking about it and it suddenly came to me. He or she is our little Guppy! One of the main reasons being that Jason used to have me in stitches with a "guppy face" he would make. After my sonogram I called Jason to let him know that we have one guppy in the tank.
Next sonogram is scheduled for next Thursday. Are we there yet?
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